Junk Drawer: August, 2006

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August 28

From the Mouths of Babes....

I received this today via email, and thought it was cute enough to share.

The Wonderful Way That Children See Things

NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt! "

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HONESTY

My 4-year-old son Zachary came running out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "You better throw this one away too, 'cause it fell in the toilet a couple days ago.

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OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

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KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

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MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "Haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

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ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter with me. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

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DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her father donning a tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not darling?" "You know it always gives you a headache the next morning."

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SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

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BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

August 16

The Da Vinci Code

For the last couple of years it seemed like I was the only person who had NOT read 'The Da Vinci Code'.

So I finally did it!

Can I just say, I was disappointed.

The story is good. It's entertaining, but come on! Dan Brown is someone I would NOT consider as a great writer. Let's just put it this way...

I do NOT like it when the end of each chapter feels like we're going to commercial! If I am going to be propelled through a book, I appreciate it when the story is so good, I can't put it down. I like books that flow seamlessly from chapter to chapter. I'm sorry, but a cliffhanger as the parting sentence in a chapter seems little more than manipulation to me. It's like when you go to Vegas and you're forced to walk through the casinos. It's like the last minute drama at the end of a soap opera, or the rat maze you're forced to walk through when you visit IKEA! I don't like doing any of the above things, and I did not particularly like Dan Brown's style of writing for this reason.

The one thing I did enjoy was delving into the art Brown discusses in 'The Da Vinci Code.' I pulled my Italian art book off the shelf, and studied each piece while I read this book. That made the book interesting for me.

Overall, I would give this book three stars out of five. Two stars deducted for not being a smoother manipulator of his readers.

Lastly, I know I'm behind the trend, but I haven't seen the movie yet either. I will wait for the DVD. I'm in no rush. I was also told I would probably find his first book, 'Angels and Demons', more interesting simply because it's set in Rome, a city I know fairly well. The book has been loaned to me by a friend, and, so far, I'm actually enjoying it. The writing is better, and it doesn't have that 'I'm trying to be a screenplay' feeling.

Ciao!

August 02

Bush Pilot

A German collegue of mine sent this link which explains why so much has gone wrong over the last six years...

Check it out here.